Sunday, January 16, 2011
Yesterday was one of the hardest days ever...my sweet buddy passed away. To say that this has been so hard is an understatement. But how can a dog dying be so hard...it's just a dog, right? Well for those of you who don't know me, my doggies are my babies. They are my family and I love them just like they were my blood. I know many understand this..and some don't and that's OK too. Today, I woke up hoping that I might have had a dream (or more like a nightmare)and that he was still in our back yard waiting to be walked, well yapping actually...he knew when it was Sunday (my day to take him out). But it all sank in, when I look to my bag where the "invoice" from the vet sat with all of the treatments that he received since Wednesday and at the bottom of the list "Sympathy: our Sympathies for the loss of your beloved pet" and "Cremation," as the last treatment listed.
On Wednesday I received a call that will forever be in my mind "buddy is not doing well, he's foaming too much from the mouth, what should we do?." I begged for him to be taken to the vet to get checked out. I stopped by on my way home from work, hoping that it was some kind of "stomach flu" and he would be coming home with me. But, the vet (who is so sweet and always been so good to Buddy, Sammy, and Porky) said Buddy wasn't good , was having seizures, and they would rule out a brain tumor or poisoning. He said he is giving Buddy some treatments and to call back the next day to see if Buddy had responded. Thursday comes and goes and Buddy was not responding. I go and see him Friday morning, the vet says he's not good, we can leave him one more day with a new treatment and decide what we want to do Saturday, but he most likely has a brain tumor or had suffered a stroke and would not make it. But I was hopeful that just maybe, he would respond to the new treatment, so I decided on that one extra day. Buddy was somewhat sedated and barely opened his eyes, But I know he knew I was there (and Peter too, he LOVED Peter). I held his huge gorgeous paws that I just loved and put my hand on his head and just held it for a bit. I scratched his face just how he loved it. I can feel Buddy breathing harder, so I'd say he was excited to see me:-) He sighed and I sighed with him. I told him I would be back the next day and said bye bye. The next day, I was on my way at exactly 9:30 to be there at exactly 10...and as I was on my way I receive a call from the vet that Buddy had passed away a few hours ago. My heart sank.
Today I sit here, still in shock. My heart aches. My baby is gone. His house outside lonely and empty. The water in his bowl sits still. His toys scattered in the yard. His blankets that were once warm are now cold. The backyard, dark and painfully quiet. Buddy, I love you and miss your licks. I'll miss hiking with you, walking in Belmont Shore with you (his FAV place), rubbing your belly and you slapping me with your paw to rub your belly some more, your snoring, and yes...your jumping around every time I walked outside. I will miss it ALL. A perfect guard dog and companion. My Sweet Buddy.
Posing so handsome.
So sweet (I would go say bye to him each morning before I left for work)
He loved to pose.
Ha-ha...I love this picture. This is how Buddy would typically hang out inside the house on a cold winter day.
We all love you Buddy Boy. (2003-2011)
I promise tomorrow will be a happier post ;-)